• WHAT IS FULFILLMENT? – SACRIFICE. by  Joan Ediagbonya (0)

  • Compliments of the season. Let’s take a brief look into living a fulfilled life and how sacrifice is the key we need.


    sacrifice by same og.
    Easter gave mankind the greatest sacrifice. Read write up by same og.
    I understand that these two words look like they are parallel to themselves in nature. I mean, fulfillment basically, is like having the best there can be or being in a state of satisfaction when you can say yeah…. “I’m cool”, and get flexing and enjoying yourself in the best way enjoyment is to you. While on the other hand, sacrifice seems like a totally different side of the coin, where you have to “suffer “or “give painfully” or deny yourself of “the best things” which you ought to have, but must wait for or just something terrible. Well, let’s take a deeper look into this.


    The fulfillment we have today as Christians is because of the ultimate sacrifice in the history of man -The Death of Christ. Imagine where Grace, Mercy, Peace, Joy, Breakthrough and Dominion will be today, if Christ decided not to live according to His purpose, mankind would have been doomed! And so God has sent us too – with a purpose. We are not just here to exist and exit. Living a life without a total acknowledgement of purpose is living a taboo life. God has/wants something from your living. Walk in this with all consciousness. He has the Holy Spirit who is to guide you into the truth of why you are here, and it’s never too late to get in tune with purpose.


    I have seen people jump into the “easy way out” and it sure looks like having a sweet time, but is that all about life? See, the work of redemption was not a joke. It was not to immediate pleasure or mere domination cos he way God after-all, so He could “deal with man for all He cared” or just choose to watch and neglect those that God had deposited inside Him, but He chose to live THE life – one that is in view of the prize staged ahead of Him. Imagine Christ tried, questioned and punished immensely by the people he made and loves. This makes me know that- If I truly live in line with my faith and purpose, I should be ready to be questioned.


    So, who says the fears and pains you feel has never been felt? If Christ’s pain, which had his head pierced with thorns, his skin sliced by lashes of whips and blades, his hands and feet nailed to wood, his side pierced with spear that blood and water spilled out and the final death, did not stop Him from fulfilling purpose, we have no excuse. No excuse at all!


    This is a time for sober reflection. Let us reignite the fire and run fiercely to please the God we serve and do away with what hurts Him and defile the essence of His sacrificial death. If you are still struggling with praying, studying the word, personal fellowship and worship, you have to renew your life in Christ. If you have lost a hold of purpose, it’s never too late, Let the blood that was shed on Calvary speak afresh for you. Tell God to give you a new beginning. If Abraham began walking in purpose at 75, who says it’s too late? And if you have never acknowledged Christ as your Lord, it can start now. Just speak to Him. He can hear you. Welcome him into your heart and join a bible believing church closest to you.


    Live a fulfilled life and this is only found in sacrificial living, tied in purpose. Have a great Easter Celebration as we stay faithful to our faithful God. 🙂

  • ALL ABOUT YOU. by  Joan Ediagbonya (0)

  • When I hear the phrase “It’s all about you”, it mostly nauseates me as one of those words borne out of the quest to inspire someone, but was not just seemingly realistic. I mean, it’s a “sick world”, “bad government”, “life is not fair” and the likes. So how in goodness name can one say that life is “All about Me”? Hmmmm… these are obvious facts, still I have come to a point of self-acknowledgement to this “bitter truth” – It is indeed all about me!

    All about you, by Same Og.
    simply put, Life is ALL ABOUT YOU.
    Our present situation and its prevailing peril, however or whatever it is, is a reflection of who we are. Yes, life is a mirror of our selves. We get out, what we put into life. Just like most business organization reflects the personality of the head of the business, life reflects back to us our own personality. Simply put; garbage in, garbage out.


    You may have noticed that when you look at an environment, it being dirty or clean, is a direct reflection of the people staying there and over time, it has been proven that when you change the people, the place will change, and to change an organization, you should change management. Indeed, I have seen all these happen severally in real life and personal research, and I conclude that Changes are intentional efforts, not mere wishes!


    These are part of what keeps me going a-midst all life has thrown at me – Read my story. So yeah, I understand the pain, I know there are so many challenges and how I pray for everyone going through whatever it is we all have to deal with from time to time, Still, I have to put it to you that it is all about you and how you choose to deal with those circumstances?


    You do not have to settle for less. Do not procrastinate. Do not give up. Keep on trusting and believing, after all, life is never entirely fair to anyone really. 🙂


    So choose;


    To live by choice, not by chance

    To be motivated, not manipulated

    To be useful, not used

    To make changes, not excuses

    Choose self-esteem, not self-pity

    Choose to rely on the inner strength God has deposited in you, and do not heed to that tiny voice that says you can’t make it.

    Finally, what do you want to, or have to change in your life to make the world a better place for you? Begin to think and act towards change…

    It’s all about you!

    God Bless and Strengthen you.

    Same Og…

    Excerpts from Ola Martins.

  • WHAT WAS I THINKING???.. THOUGHT OF THE DAY. by  Joan Ediagbonya (0)

  • As a child I grew up thinking everything just happened. I thought living was solely made for us all to sleep at dusk, wake up at dawn, and sleep at dusk and wake up at dawn… Little did I know there was a force behind it all, Pulling and pushing, for and against it.


    What was I thinking???


    Then, pacing through the hard part, I thought it was a punishment for who I was: A human. Everyone had to go through painful experiences, and this lasts for a long time, if not all of times. I was surrounded by sounds of anguish, brutality and fierce languishing of emotions. This raged from noon to night. Who could put out those gloomy sounds?Insurt, Life was plainly pain! Life was plainly pain?


    What was I thinking???


    I did lack wisdom. This word that was made for philosophers only, wisdom! I could not fathom the nitty gritty of putting all the insanity around me into common sense. So I was left on the wrong side and I felt it was right. I did not know that the seasons of life will change every time I decide. Even indecision itself, is also a decision. Wheew… I now ask me,


    What was I thinking???


    You see, My head became An amusement park for headaches. My body always had its spaces occupied by pain.
    My brain was nothing but plain. Sickness flew in so quick like a plane and I thought HE made it so, and we all just had to partake. And as our lives will always move in the direction of our strongest thought, My wild imaginations took me to sheol. A place where I never really wanted to be. Now, who could do a surgery on my thoughts?


    What was I thinking???


    Soon I became a trade fair, but for the exhibition of misplaced priorities and Illusions. Truth was too high a height to attain, I just took comfort with lies and I assumed I was just OK. Indeed immaturity is the inability to come to terms with spelt out truth. I found myself fighting with the obvious, and somehow thought I could win.


    What was I thinking???


    Then loneliness crept in. A loss of true direction and pure affection. Light stood ahead, but I was too blind to behold it: Frustration!


    But I could sense ITS MAGNIFICENCE, it was time to MAKE A DECISION.


    The best of all options – OPEN YOUR EYES TO THE LIFE IN THE LIGHT


    And as I did, it just became PERFECT LIVING.


    Too good to be true? Exactly what I was thinking.

    You should reach above all limits and JUST OPEN YOUR EYES TO THE LIFE IN THE LIGHT: CHRIST!


    Then, you will see what I am speaking….


    So, what are you thinking???

  • THE CHAMPIONS CREED. by  Joan Ediagbonya (0)

  • What do I feel or how many battles must I have to win to be called a champion? It looks like a term only affiliated with the high and mighty individuals or relevant Olympians and sports men. Listen, You can be one, just read on.


    Champions are made, not born. They are those that refuse to be marred, emerging through the mud. They fall many times but refuse to remain fallen.


    Champions see life as a battle arena with no hiding corner, a pressure cooker and not just a pleasure cooler. He lives as a predator to avoid becoming a prey to the woes of life. This is what makes champions, not necessarily for how much they have but who they are.


    A champion is not an animal, though they think like lions, strike like a python, stand hard as iron in the quest of opposing opposition and are sure to pull through.


    A champion sees every obstacle as a launching pad to a glorious crown, Oh how they love to move against the tides, Indeed only the weak can be satisfied with what is cheap. Champions do not glory in the victories of yester years, but focuses on the victory that lies ahead.


    Preparation is never preached to champions; for battles and fights forms their occupation, they keep pressing and pushing. A champion will never give up.


    A champion remains deaf to defeat, blind to retreat and envisages a glorious feat no matter the depth of the pit.


    Just as lions will never consider grass as meal due to the economic woes of the jungle, a champion will never be-little himself, cringing in fear due to the fiery fierce pressures from folks. They do not mind to stand alone to remain right.


    Champions are masters of their art, they aim for the stars, the scars notwithstanding. They live life with urgency, fully prepared for all necessities, even when it takes them unaware.


    Champions don’t live by chance but charge and chant their way to the top, marching and matching their words with actions. One that practices what they believe.


    Champions leave the stage of life with their echoes still ringing, a legacy for all to see, a darling of the city, an emblem to be cherished.


    Champions die empty, releasing all they have; they leave no room for pity but exit leaving an insignia, an imprint on the turgid flesh of life for all to see – “I made it”.


    There are rivers to cross, lands and cities to conquer, new worlds to discover, and selfishness to shatter. However, this will only be decrypted by the minds of champions, combatants and not charlatans working undercover or those that care less.


    Rediscover your passion, stay aware, keep those engines fired, this is your making, and you’ll surely go higher for there is a champion in you. Yes, regardless of what life throws at you, trust me, YOU ARE A CHAMPION.


    Go and be one!




    Same OG.

  • THE ‘BUSY’ TRAP. by  Joan Ediagbonya (0)

  • I trust we all have at least, one or two things to be thankful for as the year draws to a close. There are a lot of people that have gained significant progress or change in life, not just for this year, I mean, if you can look back to realize that most of what you have presently are stuffs you have desired or prayed for, then this piece will be of interest to you and if not, then you are right on time to see this write up on the busy trap.


    Can anyone remember the days when you hoped and day dreamed? When pictures like fantasies got painted all over your imaginations? Some people like me even cried, got worried sick, prayed and fasted until our desires came through. Oh, what a relief! Still, there is a twist. I noticed some changes. I used to have time to think, run with purpose, read The Word, intercede, fellowship and partake of responsibilities, which I believe are all what amassed to current blessedness. But you will agree with me that most people have been “too blessed” to keep up with the same involvements that got them blessed! What a twist.


    Praying became a burden, so tired that most times, I just knocked off once I got back home. The people I took time to nurture and encourage were left to any hawk to pick up and slaughter. I had lost love for the things that matter most to me. In my quest of earning a living, I stopped making lives live.


    I remember watching TV one day, and a well to do man was being interviewed and was asked: “what was growing up like?” Among others, he said he remembered going from house to house preaching and got kudos from adults telling him he was very smart! He knew he would become a strategic fisher of men, but shook his head and said, “I am so busy now, I can’t remember when last I thought of this or even went to church.” I thought he was not serious till I saw myself here.


    I do believe that our blessings are not curses in disguise. How can our act of gratitude for our lifting be visible in total abandonment of our responsibilities to THE CALL? We all know that when a pilgrim gets lost in activities and forgets the responsibilities that he or she was sent for, he sure will end up insulting his ambassadorial assignment. We must not forget who you are!


    I later lost my Job and was really really sad. Little did I know that it was a set up for an eye opener. I realized that I was fast abandoning purpose; I had to critically evaluate things and retrace my steps. I don’t want to miss my destination!


    Since it is all about choice, “chose you this day…” remember? Choosing wisely became inevitable and staying with engagements/activities that will not sap the living day light out of me was vital. I just had to create the time to live up to my assignments like writing this piece you are reading now. God knows I want to bless someone anyway I can.


    So, it’s all up to us. You know how you and your maker have had times together. To those he has shown himself faithful to, how well are you reciprocating that now? Living a life where you toss your bible aside, stay off prayers and just over “work” or “relax”, is a slap on the face of your purpose for living. Beware and return to your first Love.


    I agree that we long to be incredibly productive at work or in school or whatever it is that we do, but also critical to our living is our spiritual wellbeing. Let’s not forget that.


    Just take a moment and think about it, if your current blessings and connections don’t allow you to serve Him and others more effectively, you may just have stepped out of the line. It’s time to get off the busy trap.


    I pray that we do not miss the intimacy with God and the relevance of purpose, even while we try to fix other important stuffs.

  • TRUTH OR DARE? by  Joan Ediagbonya (0)

  • This write was birthed after an over-heard conversation. It may not have been directly connected to the usually “embarrassing” truth or dare game, but i dare your action after you read this piece. The conversation was more of a brag when she said “I am not willing to give up some stuff even though I know that giving it up will make me a better me, yes, they are wrong, but I am comfortable the way things are”. It was a moral related debate and I was broken when I listened to this conversation. It kept me awake for nights, then I decided to press my hands on my keys and come up with this piece.


    I kept asking myself, why do we all want victory, but without a fight? Why do we shun the brighter light and stay relaxed when all we see is blurred? I mean, what is strength without overcoming our weaknesses, and what is living without intentional control? What is sanity without a law guarding us? Why do we then combat the term called good and stick with some obvious black evil? Hmmm… It is sure cheaper to dance to the enticement and deceit of careless desires, than pay the price of dignity.


    So many precious consciences have been blinded and stabbed, our deliberate acts have had it all shut up and we are living with a dead conscience. Is that living anyway? Just like the law is not a curse, but a measure to bring about rationality in a system, So is doing/living right. It is no imposed punishment! It is rather, a divine strategy of making the best of our lives, whether we fully comprehend it or not.


    Please be aware of pleasure that robs people of a great ending. Nothing of value is free. Let me point it out that: righteousness is a unique function of Grace. It is not mere exhibition of one’s capacity. It is submitting to the help that God offers. The lady in this conversation was bluntly not ready to give up some stuff she did acknowledge as wrong, and was bragging on it. Such errant decisions, regardless of how pleased we are with them, I believe is the beginning of self-destruct.


    It will not take a whole bunch of repentance to get back in His good books after something like whatever it is you have done or you’re doing. I think it is maturity to acknowledge wrong, call a spade a spade, and walk on the route to amendment. Yes, our level of maturity shows in our level of discipline, so hear the truth and dare to change.


    We will never discover the abundant life God promised until we deal with all our dirty laundry. Total forgiveness and cleansing is available, but confession and repentance must come first.


    The errors of many, does not define the justice for us to accrue with such vain acts, and our moving in tune with such deceptive rhythms actually elaborates our own weaknesses. We all must have a re-think: how grown are you to have a taste of the truth grain, and regardless of how bitter it is, prefer it? We know that ignorance is the common ingredient all through generations. But note that this ignorance is not the ignorance of all things but the ignorance of key things. It’s time to get ruthless with your weaknesses: this is the plain truth you must dare.


    Something in your past may be the reason things are the way they are today, but don’t allow them to become an excuse to stay that way. Every right choice you make today, changes the result of a wrong choice you made in the past. Decisions have a lot of power, and we are gifted with CHOICE to make or ruin the best of us. We must be daring and brutally truthful if we hope to have a hold on whats best for us.


    Truth cannot be cajoled. It is Pride to always ignore right warnings. You cannot sit in fire and expect not to be burned. Just think deeply: how many right steps in the right directions are you ignoring? This issue we are talking about is key: Godliness may be costly, but the end result is priceless! I pray you dare to shake off the dust.


    Yeah, Same Og just sounded like a pastor, Right? So can I get an Amen? 🙂


  • How would she define love?


    This was all that I thought about.


    ‘Cause as seen, shattered homes almost always evolve,


    Becoming rampant and soon, the norm.


    I nicknamed her a weeping referee,


    For the many battles she’d watched.


    And RED! That was always the color of her eyes.


    The house had it all,


    It was the boxing ring.


    It also had the fighters: mum and dad.


    And as the referee, her work?


    To helplessly sit, cry and watch.


    If love ever existed,


    He somehow lost her address.


    Her clothes was always wet,


    Tears gave it the best drench,


    Like one from the cloudbursts.



    Is there really a God?


    This was written boldly on her frown.


    If He lives, His eyes must be dead-blind and shut!


    So many awkward thoughts I saw,


    As I lurked through her heavy head.



    TV soon became her teacher.


    It was only in it she saw people smile.


    Her iPod was her comforter,


    Music made her feel fine, or so it seemed.


    But how well were these lessons she learnt?


    These commercial fabrications did not help get things any better.



    It was as though men in scary mask


    Broke into the house and stole her joy away.


    She just couldn’t understand


    Why this pain wouldn’t go away.



    Her heart became a hospital,


    For the diseases she harbored.


    Her depression was top on the list,


    But what drug has her cure?



    When I needed a sad poem,


    She was my inspiration.


    Crazy thoughts began creeping in,


    And suicide was one of the finest options.



    And like the break of the morning,

    Fresh dew fell through, indeed a new dawning.


    Felt like He finally counted the drops,


    Each leak of her tears.



    The truth is our stories of pain


    Are only written in pencil,


    His love is the eraser.


    Grace would rewrite our chronicle,

    We have to give in and apply it.

    I know mum is gone


    And dad is never at home.


    But our real Dad sits on a throne,


    And can make your house and heart, His home.


    So here is a reason to smile,


    A reason to hold on a little while.


    You may not be sleek like an iPhone


    But last I checked,


    You are still the apple of His eyes.

  • HOPEFUL: SECURING HOPE TO COPE. by  Joan Ediagbonya (0)

  • Process is gradual, progress is any step taken towards a goal, and whether it is a conscious step or a move towards an unwanted result, progress is being attained still. And deliberately thriving towards an intentional mark can be really overwhelming, but this is where we need hope to cope. It’s just like having an intense beam of light come suddenly in a dark room, any available open eyes could come in contact with partial or total blindness due to the sudden intense beam, surging from such shine. Fact has it that the pupil of the human eye has no capacity to absorb such bright light suddenly, but the flip side is; if the light comes up gradually, the pupil will not be overwhelmed and would be “hopeful” to accommodate more. This can be affiliated with our day-to-day living. How? Read more.


    We know that the good things of life are a result of consistency, being built and shaped over time. This should help us appreciate our days of little beginning, and mold us into better beings. From the “sudden light” story above, it is right to say that no matter how dark our circumstances are, rushing into sudden means of survival will overwhelm us. Just like how the sudden wealth that befalls most gamblers leaves them worse than they were (this is a proven fact, by the way), it can be established that what is not gradually achieved, gets spontaneously lost.


    Another fact caught my attention, the fact that the most spectacular of rainbow displays happen when half the sky is still dark with rainy clouds, I mean, beholding spectacular results a midst darkness? This thrilled me. Indeed, the best is brewed from seemingly rigorous systems. So when darkness seems to envelop your present circumstance, strive to see the soothing colors of the rainbow, I mean focus on the beauty life has given you, instead of the “soon to be faded off” gloom, yes, your current pain is sure to fade off soon.


    So, when you feel like giving up or quitting, think of why you started it in the first place, think of the persons looking up to you and the chains of life that may drop once you lose hope. We all need hope to cope. Pain is real, but so is hope. Sometimes the miracle we need, is simply being hopeful. Remember, without the dark, we will never see the stars. And I will also critically recommend we secure strength from the giver of life Himself. This helps a whole lot!


    So, keep hope alive. Light will shine, and gradually. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking, so open up and be hopeful. Enjoy every new dawn, No rushing, keep pressing. Indulge in accumulating more hope, this will help cope, and you will be just fine.


    Your life is valuable!


  • ‘So it seemed, that it was cool, So cool, for everyone to
    be in a relationship but me..
    So I took matters into my own hands and ended up
    with him
    Who displayed the characteristics of a CHEAT, a
    LIAR, an ABUSER, & a THIEF
    So.. why was I surprised when he broke into my heart?
    Cause it was ME who let him in.
    Claiming we were “just friends”..
    It was already decided for me by the first date, that
    even if he wasn’t, I was gonna make him The One.


    You know I was tired of being alone,
    And I simply made up in my mind, that it was about
    that time, so I decided to drag him along for the ride.
    Cause I was always the bridesmaid & never the bride,
    A virgin in the physical, but mentally just a grown
    woman on the corner in heat!
    Who was tired of the wait!
    So I was gonna make him The One.
    He seemed to have a form of Godliness but not much..
    But hey, I can change him! So (honey) I’ll TAKE
    him, I mean he’s close enough.
    I was ready to sell my aorta for a quarter, not knowing the
    value of its use to me


    This all ended up in clogging with MY will, but it blocked HIS Will from
    flowing through me.
    So, I thank Christ that His blood pressure gave this
    heart an attack,
    That flat lined my obscured vision and put me flat on my
    Through my ignorance He sawed,
    Through my desires He worked & cracked open my
    TO transplant Psalm 51:10
    A new heart & a renewed right spirit within!
    So now I fully understand,
    Better yet I thoroughly comprehend,
    How much I NEED to wait for You.


    See, the bad thing is that I knew he wasn’t you from
    the beginning..
    Cause in the beginning was the Word
    And he didn’t even sound or shine like Your Son
    Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks,
    And all he could whisper was sweet, empty nothings
    Which meant NOTHING.
    He couldn’t even pray when I NEEDED him to
    Asking him to fast would be absurd!
    So forget about him being cleansed & washed with water
    through the Word


    But I know You..
    You were already praying for me
    Even never having met me.
    Now, let me assure you, I will wait for you.
    I will no longer date, socialize or communicate with
    carbon copies of you,
    Just to appease my boredom or to quench my thirstiness I
    have for attention
    And short-lived compliments from a sorta kinda, You know.


    He is sorta kinda right, but sorta kinda
    His first name LUKE,
    His last name WARM.
    I won’t settle for false companionship
    I won’t lay in the embrace of his arms,
    Attempting to find some closeness,
    But never feeling so far apart cause, I just wanna be
    held Cause all I gotta do is Say No!
    NO more sessions of almost coming “that” close
    Passing winks & buying drinks,
    I’ma, I’ma, I’ma flirt!
    Well, Who flirts with this ideology?
    Can you just tell me how much I can get away with this &
    still be truly saved?
    Well, NO more.


    I’ll stay in my bed alone, and write poems, about how
    I will wait for you
    He won’t even come close,
    Our fingers won’t even interlock
    We won’t even exchange breath
    Cause I have thoughts that I’ve saved as in a file that
    God has only equipped you to open.
    I will no longer get weighted down,
    From so-called friends & family talks,
    About the concern for my biological clock
    When I serve the Author of Time.
    Who is NOT subject to time,
    But I’M subject to Him,
    He has the ability to STOP, FAST FORWARD, PAUSE, or
    REWIND at any given time


    So if we could role play,
    You would be Abraham & I would be Sara
    Or you can be Isaac & I can be Rebecca; a servant’s
    answered prayer
    I am bone of your bone, flesh of your flesh,
    Made up of your rib Adam!
    And once we meet, like electrons
    I will be bound to your nucleus, completely indivisible
    We even speak the same math: 1 + 1 + 1 = 3, which
    really equals 1 if you add HIM.
    We were all created in His image,
    But you have the ability to reflect, project & even
    detect the Son.


    If I were to explain what you looked like,
    You would have to look like a star,
    A son of the Son..
    I would gain energy simply from the light on me.
    I would need you , in order to complete my photosynthesis
    I await your revelation, but once again from the
    genesis, I will wait for you.
    And I will know you, because when you speak I will be
    reminded of Solomon’s wisdom,
    Your ability to lead will remind me of Moses,
    Your faith will remind me of Abraham,
    Your confidence in God’s Word will remind me of Daniel,
    Your inspiration will remind me of Paul,
    Your heart for God will remind me of David,
    Your attention to detail will remind me of Noah,
    Your integrity will remind me of Joseph,
    And your ability to abandon your own will, will remind
    me of the disciples,
    Still, your ability to love selflessly and unconditionally will
    remind me of Christ.
    And I wont need to identify you by any special Matthews or
    any special Marks,
    Cause His word will be tatted all over your heart.


    And as for me, you will know me, and you will find me,
    Where the boldness of Esther meets the warm
    closeness of Ruth.
    Where the hospitality of Lydia is aligned with the
    submission of Mary,
    Which is engulfed in the tears of a praying Hanna.
    I will be the one, drenched in Proverbs 31 waiting for you.


    And now to my Father, my Father who has known me before
    I was birthed into this earth,
    Only if you should see this¦
    I desire Your will above mine,
    So even if you call me to a life of singleness,
    My heart is content with YOU; the One who was sent.
    YOU are the greatest love story ever told,
    The greatest story ever known
    You are forever my judge & Im forever Your witness
    And I pray that Im always found on a mission about my Father’s business
    Oh, I will always be Yours!
    And I will always wait for You Lord, more than the
    watchmen wait for the morning,
    More than the watchmen wait for the morning; Ladies, let us WAIT.


    Inspirational sayings – Lady in waiting, is dedicated to all the single ladies out there.


    Initial copy by: Janette – I will wait for you.

  • PLEASE ADVISE ME by  Joan Ediagbonya (0)

  • I laid on the cold bare floor lost of all expression, wishing it was only a nightmare. My feelings, emotions and every sense of pride had yet again been punctured by a masculine animalistic exhibition. I boiled with rage, hatred and total helplessness as his huge frame lifted off on my body, panting in selfish relief. I was yet again a victim of acquaintance rape.


    It was like a fresh wound coming in contact with salt, my heart bled uncontrollably. I trusted him, but he savored forcefully thrusting between my thighs. Ben’s inhuman act exhumed buried memories from the past.


    At age twelve a reptile in a relatives clothing, assaulted my innocent childhood sexually, ever since I have struggled to relate effectively with the opposite sex. Ben came into my life during my NYSC days. He was so nice, caring and humane and proved to be there for me, hence I decided to reciprocate by making him a friend, little did I know he would turn out to be the reincarnation of Uncle Dare who raped me at age twelve, turning me into a doll neatly packaged but devoid of feelings…


    I am 29 years old now and I am having great issues in relating with the opposite sex. Any guy that comes close to me reminds me of the past. They all act nice, caring and all, but so did Uncle Dare and Ben…


    Please what do I do? I need a life line. I am grateful for such a platform like this and really hope to hear from readers how best they think I can get through this. I am not getting any younger but can’t bring myself up to trusting men anymore. I want to experience this “LOVE thing” I hear about, but what can I do about that? I really do need a word.





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