PLEASE ADVISE ME

I laid on the cold bare floor lost of all expression, wishing it was only a nightmare. My feelings, emotions and every sense of pride had yet again been punctured by a masculine animalistic exhibition. I boiled with rage, hatred and total helplessness as his huge frame lifted off on my body, panting in selfish relief. I was yet again a victim of acquaintance rape.

 

It was like a fresh wound coming in contact with salt, my heart bled uncontrollably. I trusted him, but he savored forcefully thrusting between my thighs. Ben’s inhuman act exhumed buried memories from the past.

 

At age twelve a reptile in a relatives clothing, assaulted my innocent childhood sexually, ever since I have struggled to relate effectively with the opposite sex. Ben came into my life during my NYSC days. He was so nice, caring and humane and proved to be there for me, hence I decided to reciprocate by making him a friend, little did I know he would turn out to be the reincarnation of Uncle Dare who raped me at age twelve, turning me into a doll neatly packaged but devoid of feelings…

 

I am 29 years old now and I am having great issues in relating with the opposite sex. Any guy that comes close to me reminds me of the past. They all act nice, caring and all, but so did Uncle Dare and Ben…

 

Please what do I do? I need a life line. I am grateful for such a platform like this and really hope to hear from readers how best they think I can get through this. I am not getting any younger but can’t bring myself up to trusting men anymore. I want to experience this “LOVE thing” I hear about, but what can I do about that? I really do need a word.

 

Thanks

 

Anonymous